I have become person who cuts peanut butter toast into 8 pieces.

In fact, its so much a habit in doing this for Finn that I am starting to do a modified 4 piece slice for myself these days. I have been thinking about how I want to continue become this person that motherhood is making me. A whole slice, 5 bite toast eater doesn't get the opportunity to relish all the textures and oddities of each cube of an eight-piece toast slice! Such is my life...I guess I am thankful for the ways in which my life has been forced to slow down. Each task , each moment shrunk down into smaller bits. Each day is a thousand little things of wonder (and, of course-doubt).

Last night on the news I saw the remnants of an entire Israeli village whose devastating loss is something I may never understand on any level. I felt so very terrible to be human last night. So angry to be connected to a race that continues to be violent and unmerciful. I told this to Mike and he said-that's why you need to keep on enjoying all the little things. And he's right. Life is all about the eight squares of peanut butter toast on Finn's snack plate. No less, no more.
Now is all we have. That I think I can understand.

Here are a few photos from the weekend:

Finn in his summer driving attire:

Skye and his new birthday headlamp

The Hepher Clan at Saturday Morning Brunch:

Finn at Opa and Omi's BBQ:

Just came back from Calgary and before that, Lethbridge. Mike played in his brothers Band (the darby and joan club: www.djcmusic.com) on friday night. Mike's family all contributed: Rob and Mike played in the band, Mike's Dad, my sister in law, Rin watched while Nana watched the kids so we the rest of us could enjoy the evening. It was a great night! Since we have so many birthdays and Anniversaries in August, we all went out on Saturday morning for brunch and then Mike and I headed of to Calgary.

In Calgary we spent longer than anticipated in Ikea and the went up to my Papa and Annemarie's for a backyard BBQ. They had invited irene and old-time family friends the Zippricks.

A full and fun weekend..and now, its good to be home. Finn was delighted to be home and
it took him quite a few spins in his crib to wear himself out!

What an eventful 24 hours!
Mike's mom, Nana, came for a visit over the weekend and we all had such a great time and the house felt so empty when she left on Monday. Our cat Maus had been great with kittens over the last scorching days, and I was beginning to feel very sorry for her in this heat. Nana's dog lived inside our house for the weekend and so Maus was walking about a little more carefully than usual. Poro is not know for his affectionate relations to the feline varieties. By the tine Nana left, I had the distinct feeling aforementioned cat was READY! Mike and I were set to go out for supper at the river with our friends the Thompsons and our friend Sara had offered to come over to babysit. I think she got a lot bigger of an event that she had anticipated.

Smee (still with us for now) was cowering in the laundry room, panting uncontrollably from his fear of thunderstorms...which were coming in since 2 in the afternoon). Maus was posing all sorts of awkward positions and seemed ready to go into action any moment...While Finn sat at the table playing with playdo and watching Sara's four kids come bursting in out of the rain. Just to calm things down a bit, noodle salad was served up for all.

By the time we left for our supper, I was just thankful Sara was not easily phased by such life events as cat delivery. Sarah is a doula, and was, hence, really the best person for the job!! Her husband was to come around 8pm and pick up her kids and she was going to spend a quiet eve in our house while Finn slept.
No such luck.

Mike and I arrived home at 11pm: Finn and Sara's son Levi slept, but the other 3 girls were wide awake and playing. Alex, her hubby arrived about 10 minutes after we did and all of us were quite thrilled about Sarah's announcement of 3 kittens being born while we were out. I went to check behind the washing machine (with flashlight) where the event had transpired, and saw a fourth kitten, a calico runt, had been added as a surprise ending. Mike took a few photos..included here. All survived the night and Maus seems to be adjusting very well. The kittens are pretty much all spoken for and so we are excited to house this little experiment for about 8 weeks!! Then Maus will be in for a quick trip to the vet!!
Don't tell her!

Outside my front door there is a huge Sleeping Beauty tangle of a hedge that grows thicker every year we've lived here. We haven't managed to give it a good trim yet. Not for lack of trying though. It's tricky business to fight all them pointy, little branches into well mannered hedge etiquette. This year Mike pointed out to me, as were competeing to get the mail at the front door, that the little pea pods that grow on our hedge pop and throw their seeds everywhere. We listened for the popping sounds. I couldnt believe I haden't heard them before...in the last 3 summers. We talked science then. How the heat expanded the pods and then expelled the seeds at seemingly random times. I continue to marvel and how nature works so beautifully.

Today is the 5th anniversary of Mama's death. A random pop. A time to be released. And seeds are still everywhere, leaving new fledging hedglings in their wake. Seasons to endure and to enjoy. Ah, my beautiful hedge, the protection that it gives me, and the lessons it offers a healing heart.

We’re putting our Smee dog up for adoption. The decision came to a resounding yes yesterday morning when we both realized, after months of vascelating, that the poor pooch really was being neglected. Our friend and neighbour up the street, Marta, who works many days in the bush, has agreed to take him. We are sooo thrilled for Smee. Marta has taken him out for adventures before, and he always has come back very happy. So here we go...dogless after almost 10 years!!

I vowed to be in bed before ten and now I have gone crazy overboared looking at my favourite blog sites...oh well. just had to add this awesome pic of the 5 schwarz-wilson-hepher cousins..youngest 7 months, oldest almost 7 years.

All I can say for the day is that..the laundry is done...
It might not seem spectacular to the average bear, alas to me, it is rather Everest! It just needs to be folded and put away! HA!

Anyways, I still feel hit-by-a-truck-kind-of-tired, but all so worthwhile. Our drive home from Butte yesterday went very well. Finn was a peach in the car..had 2 naps instead of his usual 1, and was pretty content and silly until we hit about 7 minutes outside of Cranbrook. Not bad at all said we. We stopped at Swan Lake State Park, as we had done on the way down, and got the most beautiful huge sandwiches from the local grocer there. Very lovingly handcrafted by the owner's wife, complete with their own "house mustard" that a friend of theirs makes from scatch. We all got to stretch our legs, take in the sun, and throw rocks in the lake. Finn was in his element and ended the lunch session as a true "soggy bottom boy" with his diaper well below his knees, and his grin well past his ears. The border fellar at Roosville gave us no grief, and we made it home for a supper of Sidekick noodles, followed by frootloops for dessert, amongst a stack of tupperware containers, lumpy bags, and unidentifiable mounds. Mike and I rented movies, put Finn to bed and relaxed amongst the chaos, deciding that it would all still be there when we woke up.
Which it was!
Tomorrow I see the midwife. I am at 27 weeks and this little bean is kicking low and cutting off my lung power all in the same move!

I feel as though I just came back from a week at camp..which, in theory, I guess is true. I shed some tears over my not-so-thrilling Denny's dinner tonight, and felt blue most of the evening. that sort of "I don't want it to be over" feeling of loss overwhelming me somewhat. The last 5 days we have all spent together as a family clan...all my sibs and their significants, complete with 5 nephews total and my dad and and step mom in Red Lodge,Montana. beautiful little town, perfect weather, always enough going on, or little breaks to take, for it to be an incredible time of Clan connection. I guess i am just so very aware of how precious and rare this time is. I am so thankful for a family that can hang out at a KOA campground, and aside from the usual squabbles, genuinely love each other's company.

So here we sit in dimly lit "Days Inn" in the smack dab middle of Montana, Finn having finally sillied himself to sleep, and with real sadness, but gratitude, think the evening away

A friend of ours just sent this photo to us taken 5 years ago of me and my friend Dooger, whose death is only 7 weeks fresh in our hearts. It captured a night something like tonight...evening thunder showers after a shockingly hot day. We were all sitting on Doug's covered stage in the field of his back yard. Smee was terrified and lying under the rickety bed-set up on the stage for outdoor summer slumber- as the storm blew over us. We played music late into the night. What a great memory!

My friend Robyn looked after Finn for a bit this morning while I went out with a group of ladies for coffee. It was soo great to just sit and chat on the deck of a local favourite coffee shop and catch up. what i love is that our friend Tess said she wanted to go out for a "group hug" and phoned about 10 women and everyone is from completely different walks of life and life stages, and we spent the moring connecting on all levels. Did I mention the double mocha? the chocolate whipped cream?? Almost as good as the fascinating conversations...How I love girlfriends!!!

I am now at 25 weeks of pregnancy..and today we took our first photo.
Last pregnancy we diligently took a photo every month...slackers that we are now!! We had a little windfall lately and I got to buy a few new pregnancy clothes. So here I am sporting my minty ensemble (I never thought I'd see the day!)

A day in the sun...at the park, in the backyard..Mike, Momo, Finn and I. Good to go out in the morning and feel the air warming up, even though the grass is still cold and wet beneath your bare feet. Nana and Finn and I hung out at the park this morning-did the whole gamut of toddler explorations complete with slides, sandbox and waterpark. We managed to feed Finn a banana before he nodded off to sleep in the stroller and then all took a siesta when we got home. Nana cooked dinner and then Mike and got to go see a movie while she babysat.

And here on this still warm and almost bug-less night, i sip my tonic and limein the kitchen and wonder what the summer holds. It felt like today was the gateway of the season somehow. First day where sunscreen had to be applied twice. Ditto to pitstick. The sun slowed down the clocks and the day went on and on.

We just came back from a "Tenessee Three" concert. That is the band of Johnny Cash with out Johnny Cash-who died not too long ago.
It was a blast actually. I am not too familiar with Johnny Cash's music, not having really grown up in it or anything...more like german folk song records for me, but after seeing the "Walk the Line" movie, I was intrigued. Here's a guy with a story and a half, that ends on such a positive note. Its so very hopeful. And because this band has been together over 40 years, and they are such easy going story tellers and performers, was lots of fun. Our friends had bought us tickets a couple of months ago, and it was a concert I might not have gone to...but totally enjoyed.
Thanks Shannons!

I drove to the other side of town to get dog and cat food at the local Top Crop, and lo and behold, once getting Finn all buckled in and ready for the big Superstore shopping trip ahead, the car didnt start. Didnt click. Didn't whirr. Nothing. hmmmmm....thought I and phoned up my trusty Sccoting husband (see: http://blogscoot.blogspot.com/) for advice. Apparently the same thing happened to him lat hight, but he had forgot to tell me.
oh well. thats just how it goes sometimes!

The beauty of a small town is of course our Baker (see http://thevillagebaker.blogspot.com/) happened by, likely to pick up dog food for his canines as well, and push-started me. So Finn and I went for a 20 minute drive on a scenic route towards the airport to charge the car battery. We stopped and shopped and then when i tried to start the car again, she again-refused to obey. Another friendly couple helped to push me out of my troubles this time! Needless to say, we are going to have to push-start it and drive on down to our mechanic for a peek at the alternator.

All in a days adventures!

A quick photo after Mikey's Father's Day Scooter Ride yesterday afternoon. Boys and their Italian import toys!!

Here are a few pics from the last days...


Last weekend Uncle Robby and his land cruiser came up for a visit from Lethbridge!!!


Mike, Finn, Aaron and Paige at the Sam Steel Parade yesterday morning.

We get to have this slide for a month from the toy lending library...and as is evident...someone here really enjoys it!

The thunderheads are wrapping 'round the house.
The water's running for Finn's nightly bath, and Smee is panting frantically in the laundrey room. He already ran away once this week ...we had a fantastic storm the other night that Mike and I watched with windows open as the sunset eating chocolate. We woke up to a Smee-less kennel, and a phone call from the local Liquidation World saying that they had our dog. Nice folks.

After a week of rainy indoor activity, it seems everyone looked out their window this morning, saw the sun and said "Let's go OUT". Finn and I joined in with the Happy Park People and stayed there all morning with a variety of Stroller Moms, Daycares, school groups and Grandparents minding their Grans. It was a glorious day in the sun.

And now its friday night and I love the feeling the end of the week brings. Like the bottom of a good glass of wine drank slowly and mellowing to the bones.
The lawn is mowed, the dishes done, and tomorrow is "Sam Steele" weekend in Cranbrook. A parade, pancake breakfast, face painting, live music and the works. Mike will take his scooter out for a long ride-that's his Father's day Special Event!

Yesterday had a life-givng sort of moment in it.
Finn got a sliver. Three deep ones actually, from the oldwooden steps to the garage.
After the expected cry, pout and wail of "mamaaa, babaaa", Mike and I took him into the house and prepared for rapid surgery. I cleaned the tweezers, Mike cleaned the little hand. We laid him on the change table and I took his hand and face and told him he was going to be ok, and sang a little song and told him all the things that parents tell their kids to make themselves and their kids feel better. He winced and turned his head and cried, looked right at me but never flinched or pulled his hand away. After about a minute and all nasty splinters removed, i was so very touched by the whole thing.
A little person who trusts ferociously. A little person in such a big world with so many unknowns. It is such an incredible feeling of being loved and accepted. Its a pretty sweet trade off for fatigue and lack of privacy. I'd never trade back!!